Adonai, I was born a Ramblin' Man...

2004-06-01T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well... I'm back from California... First off, GATEWAYS in Connecticut was great-ish. One friend enjoyed it, the other packed up and left when nobody was looking. I got a nice high dose of wisdom out of it that prepped me for my West Coast voyage with 3 non-religious Jews with a destination towards an intermarraige wedding of a close long-time friend of ours.

Some fresh memories:
-SABBATH #1, OAKLAND... Watched the Sun kiss the Earth while I was flying thousands of feet above it. Got to an Orthodox shul early Saturday, where the rabbi looked like a bar mitzvah boy, the cantor wore sunglasses inside and the kiddush was all vegetarian. They do good work there. ... Saw some redwoods and thought to myself that if the Sun represents God and all plants grow towards it, these trees are what get the closest to Him, while still remaining rooted here.
-SAN FRANCISCO... As homosexual as everyone says it is, but not as flaming as NYC can be. Every store is an art gallery. Bought some CDs at Amoeba Records, which I hear Rolling Stone declared the best music store on the planet (I concur); found an album called "Adonai & I" of quality reggae versions Hebrew songs
-BIG SUR... Went camping around the most beautiful place I've honestly ever seen. Cliffs and wildflowers everywhere. Left my friends at the site and went exploring, blasting Dylan's "Highway 61" while searching for silence from my noisy friends. I drove 2 miles down windy cliffs to Pfeiffer beach where I caught the end of a peaceful purple pastel sunset that was surreal. After 2 hours, my friends were convinced I'd crashed and were going to call the police.
-MALIBU... Behind the mansions and estates lie some of the best camping mountains. This is where my first Shavuos actually started. For the dairy custom, I had a big 4-cheese pasta dish for dinner and we kept a nice bonfire going at the site, where a freaking COYOTE came to visit. The next morning, I had a whole quart of chocolate milk that gave me a fierce case of The Runs.
-L.A. ... A hot, dirty, nasty whore of a city. I felt no connection to it honestly. Except for the donut shops every 40 feet. Hollywood is where the Groom lives, .... my friend and I left the 2 noisier friends at the hotel and went back to Malibu Mountains and Topenga Canyon for some quality time in Nature away from all the falsity and idolatry. I brought my siddur and tefillin with me a few miles up Eagle Rock and got to daven on a wildflower-covered mountain on the day commemorating when the Torah was received from God by Moses on a flowery Mount Sinai 3500 years ago... Had a nice Thai dinner one night w/ a waitress who kept calling us all "Honey." Saw a performer named "Christmas Tree" at a bar that can best be described as a transvestite anticapitalist Hendrixian bluesman. Saw where Belushi overdosed. Saw a shitty angry goyim SoCal punk band at the Whisky-a-Gogo. Lots of "Choppers" iron crosses. The "Nazi font" has become very popular these days I've noticed.
-SABBATH #2, NEWPORT BEACH... This brings us to the Friday wedding, which I knew I'd be violating plenty of laws for. I'd been wondering how I'd find a minyan walking distance for Saturday, when Hashem did the most incredible thing for me. As we're checking in to the hotel, I see a kid in a kippa. Then another. And another. Soon, we see HUNDREDS of Jews filling the Radisson, who just happend to be there on an NCSY shabbaton retreat. Now that's HASHGACHA! Praise Hashem. I know this was divine intervention to help me keep things holy and, I'll say it, to give my friend and his family a deserved in-your-face dose of guilty conscience that they're about to cut off a strong Jewish bloodline. There were drop-dead gorgeous Jewish princesses all over the place and I hope my friend pondered the life-partner he'll be missing out on. The wedding itself was nice; by more coincidence, I drunkenly befriended a guest who was a Palestinian Muslim. The next day, NCSY was pushing what I thought was some very racist anti-Palestinian propaganda and I think I pissed some people off for advocating steps towards peace instead of telling kids they use camel dung in their hair... My friends wanted to drive out to San Diego Saturday morning; I decided to just stay with the Jewish group and took a train in on my own after Havdalah. It was unreal circumstances. I met some great rabbis and got some great contacts. There are no coincidences.
-SAN DIEGO... In the few hours I spent in this beautiful city, I finally got to immerse myself in the massive mikveh that is the Pacific Ocean. It was beautiful. Saw lots of surfers and cleavage. Pulled a mutant seaweed pod out of the water that was the size of a human head with a 15-foot tail. Picture a gigantic green sperm with big velvety antlers.... Then I had a fat falafel for breakfast, followed by a fatter bean-and-cheese burrito for second-breakfast. I treated my body pretty bad this week, but it was an indulgent vacation and something of a last hurrah... I learned a lot about myself and my friends and Hashem this week and lines have been drawn. This being my first Shavuos since becoming observant, I feel like I've now received the Torah and must respect it and keep the commandments with me for the rest of my life journey.

That's about it. If anybody's out there, thanks for letting me share my experiences. Be well. Be smart. See the beauty and glory of every moment. Shalom Aleichem.

-The Cud-Man

Once more through the Gateways...

2004-05-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

It's 9AM on a Friday. I have an interesting day and Shabbas ahead of me. Going to a Gateways Jewish retreat at a swank hotel in CT w/ 2 non-observant friends who I have every intention of brainwashing and converting, like some rabbis successfully did with me at the last Gateways last President's Day weekend in Long Branch... Basically, a bunch of the world's most well-organized, highly-intelligent and entertaining rabbis got together and put together these crafty weekend crash-courses designed to impress Jews of all levels of observance (or lack of) and recognize what the Truth is. Doubt is highly encouraged. The knowledge is passed on through historical, scientific and rational evidence. (Often w/ Powerpoint presentations.)I was still skeptical about Judaism until that point, but they effectively proved to me that the Torah is the real deal and that Jews are without a doubt divinely Chosen. Came home transformed. Off the bat, I immediately turned down the Shrimp dinner my parents had waiting for me when I returned... And now I'm going back, to change some more. "Get a reboost," as one of my rabbis put it. I'm going out to Cali next week for a 10-day trip w/ 4 nonobservant Jewish buddies for our good friend's wedding. Gateways is probably going to make me into a preachy righteous holier-than-thou prick of sorts, but those are the breaks......... Good shabbas, everybody (anybody?). Enjoy the weekend. I heard rain.

Because it's better to keep to a blog than be a bump on a log...

2004-05-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

Hello... Vush machsta.... This is the first post of what may become a new creative pasttime for me. The endeavor was presented to me by my new local friend and fellow minyan-aire Josh who runs a nifty blog of his own (stilltheking.blogspot.com)... I started one of these some time ago and never got past the first post, so hopefully this'll be more successful. I have some ideas floating around my head that would be good to get out into an actual tangible semi-public forum. Keeping the creative juices flowing and expressing some of my many daily insights may do us all some good..... So hello and good night... Shalom aleichem.

THE HOLY CUD

Adonai, I was born a Ramblin' Man...

Once more through the Gateways...

Because it's better to keep to a blog than be a bump on a log...